1+ week, 6+ day ago   (168+ words) NEW ORLEANS — Millions of texts, emails, and DMs were misspelled over the weekend as the entire nation collectively decided that looking up the correct spelling of Milo Yanapopolis, the far-right influencer bizarrely arrested by ICE last Friday, was absolutely not…...

1+ week, 6+ day ago   (477+ words) So I was recently on the lookout for a new playlist to listen to while I’m doing chores or getting my workouts in, and I found one that suits me pretty well. It was only after I had been using…...

2+ week, 23+ hour ago   (473+ words) If you’re of millennial age, you probably remember the dating show “Singled Out,” wherein a contestant wittled down a pool of 50 prospective dates, ultimately landing on one winner to accompany them on a trip. You also likely remember their co-host,…...

2+ week, 3+ day ago   (116+ words) WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership met with President Trump to seek help coming up with “sick burns and zingers” for their shared political rivals, sources confirm. Most younger leftists consider these attempts at mean nicknames to be “cringe,” so many of the…...

2+ week, 5+ day ago   (353+ words) The Hard Times MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Following provocateur Jake Lang’s wildly dangerous political stunt and subsequent clash with Spider-Man this past weekend at Minneapolis City Hall, the infamous rogue gallery, ‘The Sinister Six’ announced they have formally invited him to join…...

2+ week, 6+ day ago   (230+ words) Yeah. That’s right. You don’t have shit. What do you have in your pocket? Nothing! It’s because you’re broke as fuck. “Take me away, to a higher place”…yeah…like the Billboard Top 100. Heard of it? Any of your dumb,…...

3+ week, 1+ day ago   (195+ words) WASHINGTON — The Department of Health and Human Services announced updates to its sleep hygiene guidelines, retaining its recommendations to avoid screens and have a consistent sleep schedule while adding advice to be fine with what the Trump administration has been…...

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (91+ words) SHATTERFORD, England — Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant finally made a statement admitting that his hair is, in fact, noodles, confirmed sources who long suspected as much. Plant’s Led Zeppelin bandmates shared their perspective on this revelation. Christina Saracina, hair stylist…...

3+ week, 4+ day ago   (127+ words) AUSTIN, Texas — President Trump confirmed that he secretly abandoned a scheduled appearance on The Joe Rogan Experience due to an Iranian death threat, instead appearing last minute on Theo Von’s This Past Weekend. Rogan learned about the change of plans…...